Adoption..?

Tonight, I decided to look up some information on adoption. As I have said before I’m having my hysterectomy Nov 20th and we have no children. I have always dreamed of having a family but knowing my health issues I figured it wouldn’t happen. I know everyone tells us to just adopt, plenty of kids need homes. That is true but it’s bigger than that and it’s not that easy. We, as husband and wife, need to go through the motions, the loss, the sadness, the guilt, and the healing. I would be more than happy to adopt but I want to adopt a newborn (atleast for our first child). It’s selfish, but I want the experience of raising a baby from day 1. The experience of being ‘mom and dad’ from the beginning. I’m getting emotional just writing this. I know we are not ready yet. I want to heal from the hysterectomy and thoroughly DEAL with the ups and downs.

If anything, it gives us something to look forward to. Love and Family is not always through blood. There is something beyond our loss. There is hope. I want to know that this is not the end. In a way, as I do my research, I’m excited.. Anyone’s personal experience with adoption are openly welcomed!

xoxo

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6 thoughts on “Adoption..?

  1. I am a strong supporter of adoption. As an adoptee, I cherish the gift of adoption. I was born a ward of the state. My parents also wanted an infant and had to wait 6 years before one became available. That one was ME! They did have one foster son before I was born but the state allowed his drug addicted birth mother to take him back. My parents endured the 6 month mandatory foster care process and then adopted me. I’m not sure how much the process has changed since 1977. I can’t express in words how thankful I am for my parents and the gift of adoption. I am their only child and they are my world. There have been some issues along the way with regards to my biological family wanting a relationship with me. Closed adoptions don’t always stay that way (in my experience) but that was because the state “forgot” to seal my foster care records. Hopefully that is a rare mistake. I would love to pay the gift of adoption forward someday but with my health issues and my husband’s health issues, I’m not sure if it will ever happen. When you are ready, I encourage you to go for it. I was saved from the horrors of the foster care system and can’t imagine where I would be without my family. I wish that every orphaned child could receive the gift that I did. ❤

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    • I really appreciate hearing your experience. It is an amazing gift. I really hope that one day you are in a place to be able to adopt as well as us. My hardest part would be telling a child that biologically we are not their parents.. But i suppose you cross that bridge when you come to it. Fostering really is not something I want to do since in the end the child can go back and I could not put myself through that. Atleast at this time.

      Liked by 1 person

      • My parents felt the same way about the foster care process. They were terrified that my birth mother would take me back during that time, especially since they had it happen before. If you choose a private adoption agency, you might be able to avoid that process, which was state mandated at the time of my adoption, but that is a much more expensive option. I honestly don’t even remember my parents telling me that I was adopted. It’s like I have always known. Good luck to you on whatever you decide and I wish you a speedy recovery from your surgery. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. It is absolutely a loss and that is very good you are taking the time to mourn it! We adopted two of our 3 children through foster care and it was a great way for us to expand our family. Take time with yourself. If you do go with adoption you will find out how true your words are. Family is not always through blood, you are so right 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I don’t think it’s “selfish” to want a newborn baby to take care of from day one … you want the experience of caring for a baby as he or she grows through ALL the stages, making the parenting experience as real as possible sans the actual pregnancy and birth. I would love to read your experience on the adoption process as you go through it.

    I wish you the best because adoption isn’t easy or an overnight process as many would have you believe!

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    • I agree 100%! First thing out of everyone’s mouth is “well you can just adopt!” They dont realize that its $20,000+ to adopt and its definitly not that easy. I have always been open to the idea of adoption. Unfortunately i dont have that kind of money so it will be awhile before we go down that road but Its something to look forward to. I feel better knowing there is this option.

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