Tonight, I decided to look up some information on adoption. As I have said before I’m having my hysterectomy Nov 20th and we have no children. I have always dreamed of having a family but knowing my health issues I figured it wouldn’t happen. I know everyone tells us to just adopt, plenty of kids need homes. That is true but it’s bigger than that and it’s not that easy. We, as husband and wife, need to go through the motions, the loss, the sadness, the guilt, and the healing. I would be more than happy to adopt but I want to adopt a newborn (atleast for our first child). It’s selfish, but I want the experience of raising a baby from day 1. The experience of being ‘mom and dad’ from the beginning. I’m getting emotional just writing this. I know we are not ready yet. I want to heal from the hysterectomy and thoroughly DEAL with the ups and downs.
If anything, it gives us something to look forward to. Love and Family is not always through blood. There is something beyond our loss. There is hope. I want to know that this is not the end. In a way, as I do my research, I’m excited.. Anyone’s personal experience with adoption are openly welcomed!